The Charts; The Bane Of Music

Chart music; how can we ever get tired of Chart music? Record labels drop soulless pop songs to the charts like diarrhea to a toilet rather than logs of indiscriminate shapes and sizes it’s a constant seemingly never ending onslaught of liquid faecal matter that the masses willingly guzzle down like an ice cold glass of water in the Sahara desert.  There’s an image to take to the dinner table with you that’s how I feel when I’m enjoying a nice hot meal and an advert comes on for the latest NOW album.

Society has just gotten so lazy when it comes to finding good music, people will listen to whatever garbage the mainstream radio stations shove down their throats. Seriously have you ever had Radio 1 on throughout the day? They repeat the same songs 5 times, they are basically saying “like this song, like this song, like this song” until your subconscious gives in and starts telling you that you like the song because if you resign to fact that its absolute garbage it will drive you fucking insane having to listen to this crap that you hate. Now you know my excuse for insanity my sub conscious is a stubborn bastard; that’s one theory anyway.

The point is most people want to be spoon fed music these days rather than seek out great songs, which is astonishing since we live in the age of the Internet, the place where you can find anything at the touch of a button. I remember when in order to find new artists I had to go by word of mouth or discover an artist through a song they featured on an album I bought; albums remember those? Before the era of the I pod the device people hook up to their computers and download music just letting the charty crap flow into it like being hooked up to a drip bag full of raw sewage.

Now I know I’m probably offending a lot of people here but I really don't care, I get offended every time I see my younger cousin wearing her Bruno Mars hoody; do you hear me complain? Well you do but that’s beside the point. Ah Bruno Mars now there’s a man whose teeth I’d love to clean with a flame thrower. He writes a god awful catchy kiddy sounding song and then starts talking about sex in said song to which I’ve heard the kids of people I know ages 4 and 5 years old sing enthusiastically, which song would this be I hear you ask, why it is none other than “the lazy song”, now that has got to be the most appropriately named song ever as that is one of the laziest song I have ever heard, right up there with “A pizza hut a pizza hut Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut. 

                         This is how all chart music sounds to me

                                         

                                         Attack Of The Clones

Originality is something severely lacking in the mainstream today; seriously, trying to tell the difference between The Wanted and One Direction is like trying to tell the difference between Tesco Value Cola and Asda Smart Price Cola; both just as bland and awful as each other.  Everyone just seems to have this archetypical look and sound.

One can’t talk about musical cloning without mentioning up and coming genre Dub Step; now there’s a cure for intelligence. If you’re not aware this new chav fad what they do is take a good classic song and crap all over it with the same distorted bass sound that to normal people penetrates the brain  like a thousand rusty nails bathed in acid, but to chavs it’s utter euphoria.

I’m going to wrap up part 1 of this blog by saying that this blog may seem a bit harsh but that’s just the way I am, the point I am trying to make is there is so much more out there than what’s in the charts. Open your mind and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find (rhyme not intended) don’t be restricted by fame and genre. Let me know what you think I can only imagine the kind of response I’ll get from this. Catch you next time (that will have to do until I think of a decent phrase to end these, suggestions welcome).